Category: the Rant Board
I was out crimbo shopping with a 1 of my wheelchair basketball friends we were getting along fine with a few hassles i.e accessability ect when we came to cafe in the St Enochs centre and this eejit let everyone in on the extent of his ignorance.
Stevie had ordered his meal and they said "ok we'll bring it over for you"..they didn't offer to help me in the same way..interesting comparision there..
Anyway when his meal was ready this numpty shouted out "Aye it's for him in the chair!" I'd have been less offended if they'd yelled out "its for the blind freak who's just crawled out his coffin!" Which I have been known to do smile.
But this deliberate ignorance and complete disregard for the guy's feelings really annoyed me,it was difficult to do as he asked and ignore it..... I have voluntered to go round Glasgow in a chair with a few players to see what they live with but today's example was more than enough!.
Quite right, that seems a bit daft to be honest. I hope the meal was nice after all that hassel.
Daft!? That's putting it a tad too mildly I was furious but I didn't really know how to respond.
Is it better to ignore such eejits I think not but are they capable of learning otherwise? And if we speak are we giving them an excuse to think they are right about us.
No, I don't think so. Anyway, it's not your place to point it out if the comment is directed at your friend, in my opinion, unless you really feel you have to.
Hmm, it's insensitive definitely, but I think you would make the situation worse if you pointed it out on behalf of your friend. That would give the impression that he couldn't speak up for himself and he needed you to communicate on his behalf. It's not necessarily how it is, but that's what people would think. I'm sure we all have these things to deal with, I don't think the guy meant it in a terogatory manner (of course it's hard to say), I mean, it's for the man in the wheel chair .. could be the same as "it's for the man with the red hair" or "the guy over there" .. it was his most identifiable feature, and at least the guy wasn't shy to ention it. Yet it's insensitive of him to say it and it's not right, but I don't feel it's wrong to the point where you should've said anything, it would only have made the situation more awkward.
Cheers ;)
-B
Wildebrew that's it exactly I did consider speaking up but as you say the implications were huge.
I was just angered that the chair seemed to represent Stevie,rather than his dress sense {black metal I'd guess} or the various tattoos on his arms.Also the fact that I didn't know how to handle the situation was really confusing,but when he refused to even acknowledge the insult I was angry at him for taking such ignorance without answering back.
Don't be angry, Gentlemen. He's probably heard it all before and it doesn't bother him anymore.
Yes but thats my point the longer that attitude prevails the longer the ignorance will exist and the next generation will have to endure the same abuse.If we accept this type of treatment arent we just perpetuating the vicious circle .
Hi Alex, I have to agree with this one. There are those of us, myself included, who have to get over the way of thinking where "The Chair" is more so considered than the Person. Like with my Mom, her wheelchair stood paramount in our lives and how to render the assistence she most sorely needed and required .... ... in spite of The Chair, there IS a Person who needs nurture and care and love... YES, we as family memebers needed to learn how to function with Mom in The Chair as we didn't want for her and the chair to topple over. Her health is too frail for unnecessary mishaps. Persons have got to be experienced for themselves and not viewed as that person over there in the chair or the one with the hearing aid. The getting beyond the outward appearences as it were and finding the person within and in the case of those say with hearing loss, REALLY careing says then one will be given to learn sign language or what it is that is necessary for the break-through to understanding to be enabled to take place between persons. Thanks for letting me share. Connie here
Well, first, I think referring to somebody as the one in the chair is a bit dehumanizing. I suppose it was the first thing that guy saw so they just opened their mouth and let fly. Second, as for educating folks, it depends on the individual. You've got some who are genuinely curious and will want to learn, but you've got others who are very happy with their illusions and see any change in the world view as a threat to their place in the universe or something, so the best of luck trying to fix those types.
Labyrinth.Your right pal Stevie did say later "Alex I've tried and time and time again I've come up against that brick wall until I'm f.cking tired of the bruises"
which didn't exactly instil much hope for the future,as for these numpties who wont change well what can we say but "what are you scared of!".
Maybe the fact that my pal looks like a member of the black metal band Cradle of Filth,when he's not racing around a basketball court:} Does draw more attention than he'd like,but children love it.
And I have to admire his nerve.
In this situation, education is the best tool that can be of use.
I have experienced similar things, while i was travelling on a train from sydney to Perth i was pretty much ordered to stay in my seat because i was travelling alone...whenever i'd get up the conductor person would rush over me and order me around loudly so everyone else could hear...and another time a guard at a train station decided rather than come out and see if i needed help he just shouted over the loud speaker " miss blind lady, do you want to go to the airport?"
In these situations i just stay quiet, especially since it's a person who has a bigger corperation to answer to, i go home, call up the complaints line and make my feelings known. It seems to always work and they get disaplened.
I know how degrading that can be, i have a friend in a wheel chair, who was patted on the head like he was some kind of dog while he was getting on a train once...it was all i could do not to get mad at the fool...but mark told me not to, but my god! i wanted to!
People who do shit like this really need a smack over the head. (not literally) That's like yelling something like, "It's for the midget over there!" Damn, people can be so stupid.
Goblin
I can completely understand why your friend let that one slide. I mean, it does get tiring after a while. My mum once made a comment that, while I didn't completely agree, was interesting nevertheless. "Why should we be the ones to educate the world how to behave around disabled people?" And I suppose, in a way, it's true. Why should we go through the same conversation time and time again, fighting to enlighten people who are quite happily stumbling around in the dark? But, that being said, if we don't do it, who else will?
I get similar comments to this one a lot in my job. I work in a hospital as a physio (Well, I do when i'm not at university), and the amount of people who should really know better (doctors, nurses, other professionals) who say the most ludicrous things, is quite staggering! Some days I try and educate them. Other days I ignore it. And, when i'm really brassed off, I have fun with them. For example, one nurse said how wonderful it was that blind people could work. Of course, I asked her what she meant, and she replied, "well, you know, in a job other than basket weaving". Trying not to smile, I replied "But they don't. I'm only pretending to be a physio for the day. See that woman over there? (she was my physio assistant) Well, she's my carer. She has a look at the patient and suggests treatments that I could give them. She's not qualified or anything, so we get some things wrong, but then, us blind people do struggle to remember things, so I suppose it's only to be expected..."
Yes, before I get shot down in flames, I know this was cruel, uncalled for, rude, misrepresenting the wonderfully perfect blind society, etc, etc. But you know what? Sometimes it just gets so boring and repetitive that, if you didn't amuse yourself, I think you'd go mad. Try it some time. It's good fun! *prepares for the attack of the mad zoners*
Wow!
The nerve of some people!
That's just like the last time I went out, I was with my grandmother and uncle.
The waitress looks at my grandmother and says,
"And what will the young lady with you be having?"
As If I was incapable of placing my own order!
I looked over at the waitress and firmly placed my own order.
That, my dears, is how I handle such situations.
May you always find shade and water,
Amber